World Renowned Global Warming Scientist Dies of Hypothermia

A man in his late-20s, a scientist named Toh Oot, was found dead just outside his laboratory in Troy, Michigan. Oot was a highly acclaimed global warming researcher and his contributions to the study of the earth's rising temperatures will be utterly forgotten. His wife had reported that, "he would not respond to [her] calls about his need for a winter jacket," which struck fear in the heart of his wife. Police came to the scene and Oot was found in a snowy field in shorts and a T-shirt. The cause of death was later determined to be hypothermia: a condition where the body loses heat to its environment at a faster rate than it can generate heat.

Dr. Oot added many claims to the global warming theory. In a press conference that was held in June, he claimed that the United States would be, "too hot for humans to comfortably live in. " In addition, he also felt as though winter clothing was, "useless," as the factories that were made to produce these winter gear "produced too much heat." His program, IGHIH, (It's Getting Hot in Here) was highly successful; it generated about eighty dollars in its twenty year life span for restaurants that could not afford the proper amount of ice to its customers in order to efficiently cool down Michigan's citizens from, "scorching heat." 

Lastly, Oot's final contributions went to his children. His oldest child, Dolc Oot, is studying meteorology at the University of Whether. His father's research is often based on his child's intelligence in the field of weather. Dolc Oot's fifty percent accuracy rate in weather predictions for Channel Zero News (measured by comparing the actual temperature of the day to his prediction and determining whether his prediction was within 25 degrees Fahrenheit) can attest to his father's legendary status not only in the snowy field where his father died, but the field of global warming as well.

Analysis:

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